


I Won't Lose You Again

by PinchServerTadashi



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, No Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3130865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinchServerTadashi/pseuds/PinchServerTadashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru had lost Rin many times, and every single time, he somehow found him all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Lose You Again

There were too many times in which he had lost Rin. Remembering them sent a shudder down his spine, the memory of every emotion a stab in his chest.

Haru had been in elementary school when it first happened. Rin had appeared in his life in a flash of light, and Haru had been forced to cover his eyes in fear of going blind. The other boy dragged him along loudly, shouting happy retorts and speaking of the swim club. Rin had been so different from Makoto, who never pushed or pried or forced Haru to do  _anything_ , but there was Rin, pushing as hard as he could, always asking, asking,  _asking_. He'd dug his way into Haru's life, and at the time, Haru was sure he wanted the other boy out.

_Too loud, too energetic, too... too much_

But then, underneath that giant tree, words written on the bricks in messy scrawl, he'd realized that he never wanted Rin to leave.

"I'm moving to Australia after the relay"

_No, you can't leave, not after.._

_not after you worked your way into my life_

He didn't say it, Haru couldn't say it. He was sure Rin had seen it, the red haired boy always did. Haru knew Rin could see the widening of his blue eyes, the way he had tightened his fist around the cuffs of his sleeves,  _You can't_

 

But he was. And he did. Haru had lost Rin, for the first time, and it was the worst pain he'd felt.

 

Haru found Rin at the train tracks, a scarf tied around his neck and a sad emotion in his eyes that was masked the moment Rin had caught Haru's eyes. But he'd seen it, what was it? Maybe he had imagined it, but what did it matter? Rin was back, Rin was right in front of him, he'd found Rin. A smile had worked its way on his face, happiness welling up in his chest.

He was expecting the energy he had seen so long ago. He was expecting Rin to give him the smile he had so many times before, he needed it. 

But Rin just asked, "Let's race"

The Rin that Haru knew would smirk afterwards, give a cocky comment, laugh and slap Haru on the shoulder, or sling his arm around him. Haru didn't see any of these, just that solemn expression again, and an empty smile. He agreed regardless, thinking one thing hadn't changed, if Haru won, Rin would have that fire in his eyes, and he'd say, "I'll beat you soon!"

So Haru swam with all his might, and when he pulled himself out of the water, he had to fight the grin on his face,  _I beat him_.

Euphoria turned to horror.

Tears were rolling down Rin's face, "I just can't do it, can I?" He was running, his coat and scarf already donned.

_No, where did you go? Where's Rin?_

Haru grabbed the sleeve of this... _new_  Rin, grasping for some sense of the one he knew so long ago. What happened?

"I quit," Rin had shouted, the two words echoing through the hallway, "I quit swimming" and Rin was running again.

He was gone, Haru now alone, feeling tears of his own stab his eyes,  _My fault, it's my fault, what have I done?_

He quit too. He didn't want to swim, not after he did something so horrible. Not after he hurt Rin. Not ever again, Haru refused to, he wouldn't cause pain like what he had just seen.

 

Thus, he'd lost Rin a second time.

 

And again, he'd found him. Wandering through the old Iwatobi halls, eyes in a constant, menacing glare. The person standing in front of him was most definitely not Rin, no, this person had stolen Rin away and replaced him.

Again, he found himself racing Rin,  _maybe_ , Haru had thought,  _just maybe I'll see him again, if he wins_.

"I'll never swim with you again"

He had shattered, the pieces stabbing into him as they fell. Never? He couldn't mean that, Rin wouldn't... he... he  _couldn't_.

The words rang in Haru's mind, dark words that swallowed the fading light, left over from the days of elementary.

_Never, never, never_

Swimming wouldn't be the same. It lost the magic it had once held, it didn't hold the electricity and energy it used to. Not without Rin.

_I quit_

 

 

Somehow, he found Rin. Haru found him in a whirlwind of shouting, and tears, and two fists tangled in the fabric of his shirt collar. He found Rin, the Rin he had seen so long ago. He was back.

Rin had returned, and again, the events of all those years ago repeated, a relay swam, but no trophy to bury(no, romantic, right? either). Instead, arms thrown around Haru's shoulders, and tears of happiness falling on his shoulder.

 

That was the last time he lost Rin. He would never lose him again, Haru would hold on to Rin tight enough, he wouldn't let history repeat itself. Rin was finally back, the blinding light returned.

 

And this time, Haru didn't dare look away.


End file.
